Shortlist for Dundee war book prize announced

Hello all,
The pics and biogs are in, and the press release must now be doing the rounds:
So –
The God of all Small Boys (link to facebook page!) – has finally made it ‘out there’.

(I now await the cries that I nicked the title from The God of Small Things, but my original short story was written long before that was even thought of!) 🙂

Anyway… The Bookseller website has the first reports that I have found so far.

Dundee War Book Prize Announced

Short and sweet, I suppose!

Twitter has a nice little parcel of tweets flying around between myself and the other two shortlisted authors, as well as Cargo Publishing and Dundee Libraries – (nothing on either of their sites as yet but…) – and for the moment there is a nice little glow surrounding us all.

Here’s hoping that glow doesn’t wear away in the intervening months, March seems an awful long way away!

(Who am I kidding? This is probably the single most exciting thing to have happenend so far in my writing career. Plays and the like being performed are one thing, the M and Oldfield articles were astounding (The Oldfield article would have been moreso had they got my name right!), but this is just a step above…)

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Amazing News!

What a difference a few months makes.

I will freely admit to leaving this webpage mostly untouched, as “Facebook” has kinda taken over the world. That said, I’ve not had too much to go on about recently. (so much so that I completely forgot to re-post my ‘Sister of the Wolf’ “buy me a tea, get a novel for free” offer at Hallowe’en!)

But, let’s just say that in May I was told to check out … “Dundee Libraries / Cargo Publishing’s ‘Great War Children’s Novel Prize’” …which I did.

By the end of June I had my first draft of my first real children’s book “The God of all Small Boys” completed.

Based on a short-story I wrote [coughcoughsplutter] years ago, it tells the story of two young boys from quite different Dundee families and the way their lives are thrown together.

I enlisted my daughter, Charlotte, to give me some illustrations for the book and, what with one thing and another, was able to get the book polished enough (and illustrated enough!) to make the ‘end of August’ deadline… by about 12 hours!

Since then, the book has been the subject of a song by one of its proof-readers, the amazing Dave Leigh – check out Dave’s version of the song here: “Dr Lindyke – The God of all Small Boys

(I also did my own mix of Dave’s song, with me doing the vocals, but this isn’t about mine!) 🙂

You may also be interested to know that the “picture” on Dave’s link above is NOT a photograph, but a drawing!

Now, no doubt you are asking yourself – “Why are you telling us this NOW, o tardy one?”
Yesterday (4th November) I received an email to tell me that my book has been shortlisted for the prize! One of only THREE books who were put on the list.
NOW the real waiting starts, as the winner won’t be announced until the end of March 2015!

Win or Lose, I see this short-listing as a huge vindication of my writing, and think it might be a nice little string to my agent-finding bow!

Fingers, legs and teeth crossed… onwards and (hopefully!) upwards!

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New For Hallowe’en 2013 – “Buy me Tea – get a free Horror Novel!”

Hey all…
I’ve heard about this “Buy me a coffee, get a free book!” idea and thought I would go one better.
Buy me a cuppa tea and get a free book!
(Tea is cheaper y’see!)

90p in UK money get’s Sister of the Wolf to your very own inbox in WHATEVER E-READER VERSION you want! Just remember to give a valid email address when you make your paypal payment!

Go ooonn… click the button!

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Lord of the Rings – The Rock Musical

Hi all!

Okay – 12 years ago I wrote some lyrics that I imagined could go to known tunes to make a Lord of the Rings musical…

Looing at it, I realised that crossing genres (Rock,TV Themes, Classical songs) didn;t really work… so I’m re-doing the whole thing to rock music!

It starts below….!

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MEANWHILE…. At the offices of FOX……

Meanwhile... at the FOX offices....

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Coulton’s Got Class

Hi all,

So, I was totally disgusted with the way this whole GleeScapade.

So I’ve made this parody, of a cover, of a cover… which a certain media mogul ‘apparently’ stole….

Coulton’s Got Class

(Here’s the lyric….)

Come on folk and stop watching glee

I don’t like FOX and I cannot lie
You other brothers can’t deny
if you use their stuff, just a tiny little taste
you get a lawsuit in your face

You’d get hung! They want to act all tough
In the court-room, you’d get stuffed
you’re gall has got me staring
too speechless to even start swearing

Oh FOX, you done it now didya?
what is wrong with this here picture?
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that thing you did makes me so angry

Ooh, Ruddy-Grey-Skin…
D’You think that JoCo’d just give in?
and say, “use me, use me…
Such a buzz bein’ ripped off by Glee…”

I’ve seen them dancing
as bad as their actin’
‘Cause their, lame, tame
and their autotune aint got no shame.

I’m tired of magazines
Saying Glee’s the next big thing
Take the average Fan boy and ask him who
they’d rather listen to!?

So, fellas, fellas
Does your girlfriend watch this stuff?
Tell her to change it, change it
cos we’ve all had enough…
Brennan’s a hack
Falchuk’s a hack
Murphy’s a hack…
Cut Coulton some slack!

They think they’re oh so big
ripping off of Coulton’s rig
they just can’t help themselves
they’re acting like they’re animals
Now here’s the scandal…

They oughta pay up some!
They owe, cough it up, owe – owe
And I’m talking ’bout a Payday!
‘Cause Jonathan’s parts are clear as day

I hear ’em clear, plain and simple
We’ve found that they just took ’em
Jonnie C’s no hooker
begging for some filthy lucre

So I’m looking at their videos
clueless bimbos talking like Pros
You can have them wanna-be’s
I’ll keep my song’s like Jonnie-C’s

A word to the thick Fox Mista’s
I’m pretty pissed with ya
-I won’t cuss or hit ya –
But I’m gotta say it straight and you all should get to…
‘what you did was WRONG

Your dignity is gone…
A lot of Gleeks won’t like this song
But them punks oughta quit it and just see that
FOX is leading them astray

You’ve been wrong, all along
And I’m here to say it’s Coulton’s song

So, ladies, ladies
If you wanna dig more than babies
Then turn around and block it out…
All the fanboys got to shout
Brennan’s a hack
Falchuk’s a hack
Murphy’s a hack…
Cut Coulton some slack!
Actually when, when it comes to integrity, FOX doesn’t have very much at all to do with that
I mean, R. Kelly, Cyndi Lauper? Maybe he should be glad of the company, huh?
So you Gleeks all dig on Artie
want Blaine at your slumber party
But Blaine and Artie ain’t exactly Smarties…

My toby jugs they don’t want none
Unless you got talent, hun
You can lip synch all you wanna
But please don’t try and sing!

So the lawyers wanna play some hard ball
And tell you that his case ain’t gold
So they toss it and they diss it
But we know (QUACK) when we sniff it…

So FOX they’re playing dumb
treating us like so much scum
But his fans are loud and his tunes are kicking
so Gleeks, think about quitin’

To you poor Gleek guys you got no excuse
You can’t do his thing.
he’s a musician, not a beautician’s
puppet that’ll soon be old news…

So before y’awl try to dis
grab a bunch from his playlist
He’s got game – so join the throng
and go to jonathancoulton dot com!

Then – people – If you love his sound,
you will wanna put the glee cast down,
Dial 1-900-JonnieC
And ditch that nasty FOX
cut him some slack
credit his ass
admit they’re his tracks
give him some cash

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STAR WARS (in 2 minutes)

Star Wars in 2 Mins - Alternate Univesre

Some of my best PS work ever I think! Especially the last picture!

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Greetings Playmates!


Joe haz a website!

Check out the little “About Time” tab up there!

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